Haters Gonna Hate

haters gonna hate, be happy, stand tall

Haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, baby.

I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake.

Shake it off. I shake it off.

– Taylor Swift

I am not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. I do, however, strongly believe that I’m a good woman.

This May Be a Tangent…

Maybe you’re going to read this and think I’m having a bad week. Maybe it’ll seem like it’s coming out of left field and makes no sense. That’s possible!

But maybe you’re someone that’s also dealing with constant judgment and belittlement over your seemingly positive actions. This is for you, Blisser! Keep on keeping on. We’ve got this!

Command Respect

I don’t expect everyone to completely agree with every word that comes out of my mouth or every move I choose to make. Hell, even I don’t always agree with everything I do and say! But at this stage in the game, I’m not going to sit here and meekly request that others respect my choices. I demand it.

To be clear, I am not a child that can be pushed around. Chances are if you’re reading this, neither are you. The bullies in life that feel as though they can dictate how we feel and what we do are in for a rude awakening. No one controls MY life but ME, just as no one controls YOUR life but YOU. You may share your opinions and thoughts, but don’t expect me (or anyone else, for that matter) to drop everything and listen simply because you told us to. That’s not how the world works.

For the Record

I want a few things to be known about me:

First of all…

I am not the type of person to act rashly or do things on a random whim. Most of my actions are logically thought out. (Again, this obviously isn’t true for everything, but it’s a pretty good rule of thumb when referring to my life.) For the most part, I am quite rational. If you take something I say the wrong way or genuinely feel like my actions are inappropriate, please come to me about it. I have no problem explaining exactly why I did or said something if it may have upset you in an unintended way.

Apologizing when I’ve crossed a line, which understandably happens sometimes, is no issue for me either. I usually have a solid backing as to why I chose to do something that may be considered controversial, so at least allow me the opportunity to shed some light on that for you.

And on top of that, let’s be real – no one can defend me better than me.

Secondly…

I am a grown-ass woman. Who I opt to associate with is my choice alone.

Oh, you think someone is conniving or manipulative or is going to burn me in the end? While I appreciate the heads-up, I’ll learn those lessons on my own if they are in fact meant to occur.

I put tremendous effort into not holding past actions against the characters of people today (since I would not want to be judged now solely by what I’ve done in my past). Making mistakes is how we learn. Until I truly believe that someone is no longer a positive attribute to my life, I will enjoy his or her company as I see fit.

Finally…

Realize that I can be an enormous asset. I am more than willing to go above and beyond for people constantly, especially those that I hold dear and that are grateful. The little things add up, believe it or not! I enjoy making people feel included, special, and loved. But if you are constantly critiquing my every move and acting endlessly unappreciative, the “extras” go away.

Though I will try to entirely avoid being disrespectful or deliberately hurtful, I will no longer do more than is required of me in these situations. If I’m going to be put down either way, I refuse to waste even a morsel of my energy with kindness that is just going to be transformed into something negative. I’ve got better things to focus on and devote my attention to!

The Hard Lesson

From where I was even ten years ago, I’ve grown exponentially. I’ve learned coping mechanisms for life’s hardships that have enabled me to handle situations without flying off the hinges like I used to over every little thing. I pride myself on being rational, respectful, and kind.

Do I have bitchy moments? Without question. But do they define me or make up the majority of my personality anymore? NO FREAKING WAY.

What’s troubling is that I find conflict and unacceptance to be a pervasive and inescapable part of my world. No matter what I do or what I say, someone has an issue with it. When I’ve managed to create peace in one segment of my life that was previously riddled with turmoil, another part then crumbles before my eyes.

The hard lesson learned here is that there really is no pleasing everyone. This isn’t just some saying that was created to make people feel better when they fail at this impossible task. It is a solid fact.

Even harder than dealing with negativity thrown my way is when it’s thrown at those close to me. The dragon in me wants to rear its ferocious head and tear down anyone that inflicts pain of any kind to my loved ones. THIS is where I have to take a step back and a deep breath. Don’t get me wrong, I still stand up and enforce my opinions, but I try to do so as calmly as possible before the beast is released. It’s not my place to fight every battle, unfortunately.

We are All Entitled to Our Own Opinions

As I’ve already stated, I don’t expect everyone to see eye-to-eye with me on everything. I also don’t expect to be on board with everything done or said by those in my life either. We are all different and have various priorities. What works for one will not necessarily work for another.

And you know what? That’s ok!

You don’t have to agree with my every move. But if I play even a remotely important role in your life, you need to respect my choices. You should know my actions are never malicious, and even if I’m trying something out that may seem a little out of the box, give me the opportunity to test the waters. I’ve surprised people before and I’m sure I’ll do it again.

I wish people would give up the close-minded “my way or the highway” mentality. There isn’t even a sliver of a chance that everyone can be on the same wavelength at all times. Our individual quirks are what make each of us unique and are also what keep things exciting.

Also, stop assuming that if I don’t do things exactly the same way as you, I’m automatically wrong in my choices. You’ve strayed from the path more than a few times. Why are those acceptable while other deviations are not? Ah, that’s right… double standards at their finest.

Side Note

I just want to take a second to point out and emphasize how much I love my family. We are one messed up bunch of whackos, but they are second to none.

My amazing parents

My parents are AMAZING. They are loving and nuts and the most compassionate people I’ve ever met in my entire life. I am so lucky to have them by my side in this wild adventure!

Sam, all dolled up

No matter how much I can’t stand my sister at times, I know I can pick up the phone and tell her literally anything at any given moment without worry that she’ll go and blab. She’s one of my absolute best friends and my unconditional ally.

Buddy dressed up as Link for Halloween.

Regardless of what’s going on with my brother, if I ever need ANYTHING, I know all I’d have to do is ask and he’d be there without question.

They are not flawless, but I am constantly supported and ALWAYS welcomed with open arms. We deal with life as a unit, providing both encouragement and the kick in the pants that each situation calls for. Not only do they provide me with these things, but they show just as much love, acceptance, and support to Curtis and Olivia. I can’t stress enough how thankful I am for that. These people are the reason family is my number one priority in life.

Vibe High

There truly is no pleasing everyone. Just keep working on being a good person, day in and day out. Try to not succumb to bitterness and grudges and revenge-seeking. Everyone has an opinion, as they are allowed to. As long as you know the good you’re bringing to your world, continue to do what’s best for you and your loved ones. And if you have a loving and supportive family, APPRECIATE THEM.

Stay strong, stand your ground, vibe high, and steadfastly Decide Bliss.

Nicky
Managing Editor at Decide Bliss
I'm Nicky - an office employee, writer, fur-mama, and nature-lover. I'm constantly working on finding my balance and improving all aspects of my life - my health, my relationships, my communication skills - while striving to find the silver lining in every stumble along the way.
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